People say that love is even more important than money; they have ever tried paying their bills with a hug.

I said I cleaned my room, but I meant that I made the way from my bed to the doorway clear.

There are few people who walk in your lives and leave their footprints in your hearts. But some people walk into your lives but you wish to leave your footprints on their face.

I voices in the head is not real but the ideas provided by the head are sometimes awesome.

If you want to be very sure that you will not miss your target, you have to shoot first as you hit something, call it your target.

Girls are very similar to cell phones, they want to be held and talked. Don’t ever press the wrong button as you will be disconnected.

I really hate when people meet me in the supermarket and ask what are you doing here? I feel like telling them that I am hunting elephants.

While driving people driving faster than me is a maniac and people who is driving slower is an idiot.

Whenever I am sad, I try to cheer myself by singing but most of the time, I find that my voice is far worse than the problems I have.

I am not very clumsy, it is just that the walls come in my way, the chairs and tables are bullies and the floor hates me.

When my boss asked who is stupid, him or me? I said that everyone in the office is aware of the fact that the boss does not hire stupid people.

A stupid person laughs thrice after a joke, first when all the people are laughing. Second when he finally understands the joke and third when he realizes that the first time he didn’t understand and joke and was laughing.

A person realizes that he is growing old when he has to pay for the candles on the cake than the candle itself.

You can entrust your dog with guarding your home but not your sandwich.

Ideal men do not smoke, do not do drugs, do not drink, do not get angry, do not swear and do not ever exist.

A good speech should be like a skirt of a girl, long enough for covering the subject but short enough for creating interest.

Everyone desires to go to heaven but without dying.

Karate is a kind of martial arts in which a person having many years of training can make the worst movies in the world’s history with the use of feet and hands only.

What is a committee? A group of unwilling people who are picked from unfit lot to do unnecessary task.