16 Funny Quotes and Sayings

Fun is the essence of life. Our ancestors said that a life void of fun is not worth living. One of the best ways to keep laughter and happiness the motor of your life is through funny quotes and sayings. Below are some of the best quotes and sayings that will break your ribs.

Funny quotes and sayings:

Math, can you please grow up to solve your own problems, I am tired of solving them for you.
Some people say that love is more important than money. But, have anyone ever paid the bills with a hug or a kiss?
The broccoli says, “I look like a small tree”. The walnut says, “I look like a brain”. The mushroom says, “I look like an umbrella” and the banana says, “Can we change the subject?”
If you think that patience is a virtue, then try surfing the internet with slow internet connection.
Christmas is the only time when people buy presents with money from next year.
An officer said: I had a feeling I would catch someone over speeding here, and that is why I came as fast as I could.
An expert is an individual who made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
I am about to open my new Facebook account and name it anonymous, so that all the cool quotes will be attributed to me.
You know you are getting older when candles for your birthday start to cost more than the cake itself
Everybody wants to go to heaven, yet no one wants to die.
My therapist told me that the way to achieve true inner peace is by finishing what I started. So far I have finished a chocolate cake and two M&M packets. I feel better already.
I am not clumsy! It is just that the floor hates me, chairs and the tables are bullies and the wall gets in my way.
At work, doing what you are not supposed to do make your vision, alertness and hearing much better.
I understand that the voices in my head are not real, but at times the ideas are absolutely awesome!
The ideal man does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat, does not get angry and does not exist.
I decided to burn some calories and so I set a fat kid on fire.